Today marks Time to Talk Day, a day recognised by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness in support of ending the stigma that still surrounds mental health.
While we’ve come a long way in taking mental health issues seriously, sadly there is still a stigma attached to the term ‘mental health’. Whether that’s in the form of embarrassment, shame or denial, the reality is it can prevent individuals from either acknowledging their own mental health concerns, or talking about it openly with others.
Particularly in the workplace, it can feel difficult to be vulnerable and open up in a psychologically safe, supported space, as this is deeply dependent on the surrounding workplace culture. So how can senior leaders and their teams support one another in difficult times?
Let’s be the change we want to see
Mental health is something we all have, just like physical health. Our state of mental health can fluctuate from positivity, happiness, contentment, to feelings of stress, anxiety or other challenges.
The reality is that around 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem this year in the UK alone, and according to multiple reports, a significant portion of the population worldwide currently live with untreated mental health issues.
This highlights the importance of encouraging people to talk about any mental health concerns openly and honestly, with people they trust. This is, however, easier said than done, and many professionals dealing with anxiety, stress or depression do not feel comfortable asking for help from their peers.
To help get the conversation going, we’ve highlighted a few different ways you can introduce the topic of mental health in your workplace, and normalise the conversation around burnout prevention with your fellow colleagues.
7 conversation starters for talking about mental health
1. Try starting the conversation about something other than mental health
Whether you’re a senior leader with a legal duty of care to support your teams wellbeing, or employee, if you’re worried that one or more of your colleagues may be struggling and aren’t sure if they’d be willing to accept support, then start by simply checking in. As a manager, a good setting for this could be your next 121, or if they’re a fellow colleague, as if they fancy grabbing a cuppa or having a quick catch up. Ask them how they are, and how things have been going, both in and outside of work.
By starting the conversation with a personal check-in, you’re creating a safe space for them to share and depending on how much they choose to reveal, you can further explore what support they might need. As a manager, this also shows them that you care about their general wellbeing, not just their performance at work - because the two go hand in hand. If someone is struggling mentally, this can inevitably affect their ability to work effectively too. So begin the conversation sooner rather than later, to prevent any issues from escalating.
2. Let them know you recognise that they’re going through a hard time
If your colleague opens up that they have been through a difficult time - maybe they are grieving, dealing with a problem at work or in their relationship, or have experienced a traumatic event - try acknowledging this in the conversation.
I.e. “I’m aware you’ve been dealing with a lot of pressure at work, how are you feeling?” or “I got the sense there was something upsetting you, and I just wanted to check in.” They may be less willing to bring up uncomfortable topics or problems for fear of being judged, and so by acknowledging that they are going through a rough time, it can give them an opportunity to talk about it and feel at ease by your support.
3. State that you care
If you aren’t sure how you can help, just letting them know that you want to help is a positive way to get the conversation going. I.e. “I appreciate things are difficult for you at the moment. I want you to know that I care and I’m here for you, if there’s anything I can do to help you, or ease any pressure at work, just let me know.”
It’s ok to feel like you don’t have the answers, and it might not feel like you are doing much. However, it’s important to recognise that if you’re not a mental health professional, the value of listening intently to someone who needs help ensures a fundamental human need is being met - you’re helping them to feel heard, appreciated and valued. Dealing with mental health struggles can feel very lonely, so listening, giving the individual time and space, and simply stating that you are there for them can make a world of difference.
4. Begin with open questions
Sometimes dealing with mental health issues can feel all-encompassing, and even day-to-day tasks feel unmanageable - which in turn, can highly affect productivity.
If your colleague is feeling like this, consider starting the conversation by asking open questions, such as “How long have you been feeling this way?” or “What has that been like for you?” Open questions (ones that invite the individual to explore what’s going on, as opposed to a yes / no answer) as a great way for the person to identify how they really feel, what’s getting in the way from them feeling better, and what support they might need.
5. Avoid giving advice and focus on suggestions
While it might seem helpful to offer advice based on your own personal experiences, if you’re not a mental health professional it’s important to be mindful that it may not be appropriate to give advice.
We all process our thoughts, feelings and emotions in our own unique ways, so try to focus on suggesting options for support instead. I.e. “Are you aware of this charity (e.g. Mind) who offer a variety of mental health support - what do you think about taking a look at their website/giving them a call?” or “Have you considered talking to a professional about how you’re feeling?”
This gently eases the conversation into exploring options, and you’re showing the individual that they don’t have to remain feeling stuck, fearful or overwhelmed, and they can access various support that’s available.
With this in mind, try to remain focused on their needs as opposed to talking about your own stories. There is of course a time and a place for sharing personal experiences, and it’s an act of kindness to choose to share your own vulnerability - just be mindful to come back to their story to ensure they feel heard, and the focus remains on their needs.
6. Ask what you can do to help
Mental health can be a sensitive subject to talk about, so try to keep things simple through asking open questions. A really important one is: “What can I do to help you?”
Whether you explore reasonable adjustments that you could provide as their manager to help ease work pressures, or you offer the opportunity to have regular catch ups together so they have consistent support at work - small acts of kindness like this can make a huge difference to someone who is feeling overwhelmed, and helps to lessen the mental and emotional load.
It’s important to remember that every person’s experience with mental health is different and there is no single fix that will help everyone. So by asking a range of open questions, you’re empowering autonomy - for the individual to express how they feel and what they need.
Bear this in mind, particularly if talking about mental health feels new to you. Instead of offering what you think they need, simply ask them what would help them, and go from there.
7. Let them know you are a long term advocate
It’s unlikely you’ll be able completely eradicate their issues - the state of our mental health can fluctuate and it is a journey we’re all on. Talking about any struggles is a powerful first step, as this can open the door to opportunities for further support, self-care and recovery.
People often need time when going through mental health challenges, and one way you can honour this is by offering long term support. I.e. “I’m here if you need to talk, whether it’s today, tomorrow or another time that suits you.”
Let them know you are a long term advocate and will be there to support them in the weeks and months to come.
Get the conversation going with kindness
Talking can feel really daunting for individuals dealing with poor mental health, as well as their fellow colleagues who want to show their support and help.
The most important thing you can do is to get the conversation going, and if you’re not sure what to say, we hope the above pointers can help you. Starting that conversation could make all the difference to your staff or fellow colleague who is struggling.
Remember to treat everyone’s experience with kindness and without judgement, always taking into account their wishes when it comes to offering support.