Returning to work after extended leave can bring up a real mix of emotions.
You may feel relieved to be going back. You may be looking forward to routine, structure, colleagues or a sense of normality. But you may also feel unsure, overwhelmed, behind, exposed or less confident than you expected.
That does not mean you are not ready. It does not mean you are not capable. And it certainly does not mean you have somehow gone backwards.
It often means you are moving through a transition.
Whether you have been away because of illness, bereavement, caring responsibilities, parental leave, burnout, mental health concerns, redundancy, a career break or another life event, returning to work can feel like stepping back into a world that has carried on without you.
There may be new systems, new people, new priorities, new expectations or simply a lot of information to absorb. At the same time, there can be quiet pressure to appear “fine”, “back to normal” or able to pick up exactly where you left off.
But returning well is not about proving you can cope immediately. It is about giving yourself enough clarity, support and realistic expectations to find your way back gradually.
Here, guest writer Trisha Gudka shares how to build your confidence, energy, and manage the mental load through small, actionable steps.
Why returning can feel harder than expected
One of the difficult things about returning after extended leave is that the practical return and the emotional return do not always happen at the same pace.
You may physically be back at your desk, opening emails and attending meetings, but mentally you may still be adjusting. Your concentration may feel different. Your confidence may feel more fragile. Tasks that once felt automatic may take more thought for a while.
That is not unusual.
Work involves much more than completing tasks. It also involves decisions, communication, relationships, deadlines, expectations and constant information. After time away, it can take a little while to rebuild familiarity and rhythm.
ACAS describes a phased return as a way for someone who has been absent to gradually build back up to work, for example through reduced hours, different duties or a lighter workload. This can be particularly relevant after long-term illness, serious injury or bereavement.
Of course, not every return will involve a formal phased arrangement. But the principle is still helpful: you do not have to treat the first day back as proof that everything has to feel easy straight away.
Start with clarity, not pressure
When you return, it can be tempting to catch up with everything at once.
You may feel you need to read every email, understand every update, fix every problem and prove that you are fully back. But this can quickly create mental overload.
Instead, start with clarity.
A helpful question to begin with is:
“What do I actually need to know first?”
Some things may be urgent, but many things can wait. Not everything that happened while you were away needs to be absorbed on day one.
You might ask your manager, colleague or team:
“Could you help me understand the main things that have changed while I’ve been away?”
“What are the top three priorities for me this week?”
“Is there anything urgent I need to be aware of before I go through everything else?”
“What can wait until I’ve settled back in?”
These questions are simple, but they matter. They help move your mind from vague pressure to practical next steps.
Confidence often returns through small moments of evidence. You begin to see, “I can handle this next piece.” Then the next. Then the next.
Rebuild confidence through small steps
After extended leave, confidence can feel less available than it used to.
You may question yourself more. You may wonder whether others see you differently. You may feel slower, less sharp or more hesitant than before.
Rather than waiting to feel fully confident before you begin, it can help to treat confidence as something you rebuild through small, repeated steps.
That might look like:
“I attended the meeting.”
“I asked the question.”
“I understood the update.”
“I completed the first task.”
“I communicated what I needed.”
These may sound small, but they are not insignificant. They give your mind evidence that you are finding your way back.
One useful practice is to write down three small “return wins” at the end of each day.
For example:
“I replied to the email I had been avoiding.”
“I asked for clarification instead of pretending I understood.”
“I took a proper lunch break.”
“I noticed I was overwhelmed and paused before reacting.”
This helps shift your attention away from everything that still feels uncertain and towards what is already beginning to work.
Manage your energy and mental load
Returning to work is not only about managing workload. It is also about managing energy.
Your usual pace may not feel realistic immediately. That does not mean it will never return. It may simply mean your capacity needs time to rebuild.
NICE guidance on mental wellbeing at work highlights the importance of creating supportive and inclusive working conditions, including manager support and clear communication. CIPD also notes that people are more likely to return safely and productively after long-term absence when they are well supported during their absence and on their return.
On a personal level, one simple way to reduce overload is to build small pauses into the day.
Not long breaks. Not anything complicated. Just short moments where your body and mind have a chance to settle.
Try this:
Pause for 60 seconds.
Place both feet on the floor.
Let your shoulders soften.
Take a gentle breath in through your nose.
Let the breath out slowly.
Ask yourself:
“What is the next useful step?”
Breathing exercises are one way to help with stress, using slow, gentle breathing without forcing the breath. This kind of pause will not remove every pressure, but it can interrupt the sense of rushing. It gives you a moment to respond rather than react.
You can also reduce mental load by planning in smaller blocks.
Instead of asking:
“How am I going to get through the whole week?”
Try asking:
“What needs my attention this morning?”
“What is the one thing I need to complete before lunch?”
“What can I park for later?”
“What do I need to clarify before I continue?”
These questions help make the return feel more manageable because they bring your attention back to what is realistic and immediate.7
Communicate what you need
Many people find this part difficult.
You may worry that asking for support makes you look incapable. You may feel you need to be grateful, agreeable or low-maintenance. You may not want to draw attention to yourself.
But clear communication is not making a fuss. It is part of working well.
If you are unsure what has changed, you might say:
“I’m getting back up to speed and it would really help to have a quick overview of the main changes.”
If the workload feels unclear, you might say:
“Could we agree what the priorities are for this week so I can focus on the right things first?”
If you would benefit from a check-in, you might say:
“Would it be possible to have a short check-in at the end of the week to review how the return is going?”
If you are concerned about pace, you might say:
“I’m keen to contribute properly, and I think I’ll do that best if we’re clear on what needs to be picked up immediately and what can wait.”
These are calm, professional and practical statements.
They also make it easier for other people to support you. Colleagues and managers may care, but they may not always know what you need unless there is a conversation.
This is where connection and community at work can make a real difference. A supportive return is not just about tasks and deadlines. It is also about feeling able to ask questions, clarify expectations and be part of the working environment again.
A simple return-to-work reset
If you are returning after extended leave, try using these five questions at the start of each week:
1. What has changed that I need to understand?
2. What are my top three priorities this week?
3. What support or clarification would make this easier?
4. Where might I need to pace myself?
5. What would count as a good enough first week back?
That final question is important.
Not a perfect week. Not a week where you prove everything. A good enough week.
Sometimes returning well means allowing the first stage to be about settling, observing, asking, adjusting and rebuilding trust in yourself.
Go at a pace that works for you
Returning to work after extended leave can feel emotional, practical and mentally demanding all at once.
So it may help not to measure your readiness by whether you feel completely confident on day one.
Confidence often comes after the first few steps, not before them.
Give yourself permission to return with care. Ask for clarity. Take small pauses. Communicate what you need. Notice the evidence that you are rebuilding.
There is no need to rush to prove you can cope.
With the right support, realistic expectations and a little space to adjust, you can begin to feel calmer, clearer and more confident again.
Trisha Gudka is a Wellbeing Coach & Facilitator and former lawyer. She delivers practical, supportive sessions that help professionals feel calmer, clearer and more confident under pressure.
Her work blends evidence based wellbeing tools, mindfulness, communication skills and reflective practices to support people with stress, self-doubt, mental overload and workplace confidence.